Questions to Ask Your Wedding Celebrant Before You Book

When you start planning a wedding, you quickly realise there are a lot of decisions to make. Venues, photographers, food, flowers … and then at some point you realise you also need someone to actually marry you!

That’s usually when the celebrant search begins.

And if you’ve opened a few celebrant websites already, you’ll notice something quite quickly - most of us sound fairly similar on paper. Which is why knowing what to actually ask can make things a lot easier.

Start with how they work

This is probably the simplest place to begin.

You don’t need a long list of technical questions. It’s more about getting a sense of how they approach ceremonies, and whether that lines up with what you’re picturing.
Some celebrants keep things very structured and traditional. Some are more relaxed and flexible. Some lean into storytelling and personality, others keep things quite short and simple.

I sit very much in the “relaxed, personal, let’s make this feel like you” space. Every couple is different, so the ceremony should be too.

There’s no right or wrong style, but it does help to know what you’re stepping into.

Ask what the ceremony will actually feel like

This is the bit that really matters, even if it’s not always the first thing people think to ask.
Every celebrant can legally marry you. The difference is how it actually feels when you’re standing there.
Some ceremonies feel very formal and structured. Others feel light, emotional, funny in parts, or a mix of everything.

When I talk to couples, I usually find they already have a sense of how they want it to feel - they just don’t always have the words for it yet. Part of my job is helping shape that into something real.

And just as importantly, it’s about listening properly to what matters to you. If there are certain elements you want included, I’ll always do my best to make it happen and find a way to weave it into the ceremony so it still feels natural and true to the moment.

That might be something light and simple, or it might be something more meaningful - like acknowledging someone important who can’t be there, or recognising a loved one who has passed. Those moments are never an afterthought. They’re handled gently and included in a way that feels right for you and your day.

So it’s worth asking not just what happens, but how they create the feeling of the ceremony, and how flexible they are in shaping it around you.

Find out what happens before the wedding day

There’s a lot more that happens before the ceremony than most people expect.

From my side, I spend time getting to know you properly - your story, what matters to you, what you want the ceremony to feel like, and anything you absolutely don’t want included.
I then build your ceremony from there, rather than working from a template.

All of my planning is done through My Celebrant App, which keeps everything in one place. Instead of scattered emails or lost notes, you’ve got your ceremony details, timelines, vows, and a simple chat function so everything stays organised and easy to follow.

It keeps the whole process calm and straightforward, which is exactly how wedding planning should feel!

Ask how they handle nerves and the unexpected

Weddings are rarely perfectly predictable (that would be too much to ask for!)

The wind picks up. Someone misplaces something. Timings change. People get emotional in ways they didn’t expect.
A good celebrant doesn’t just deliver a script - they hold the space.

For me, that usually means quietly adjusting as we go, keeping things calm, and making sure you don’t feel like you’re being “performed at” or rushed through your own ceremony.

Most couples remember how the ceremony felt far more than whether everything went exactly to plan.

See how they talk about your story

This is a really good one to pay attention to.

When a celebrant talks about your ceremony, do they sound interested in you as a couple? Or does it feel like they’re working from the same structure every time?

Your story doesn’t need to be dramatic or complicated. It just needs to be yours.
The way a celebrant listens at the beginning usually tells you a lot about how your ceremony will feel later.

A practical one - what’s included

It’s absolutely fine to ask this one directly.

Most celebrants will include ceremony writing, meetings beforehand, legal paperwork, and running the ceremony on the day - but the way that’s delivered can vary quite a bit.

For me, I tend to keep things quite hands-on in the lead-up so you’re not left guessing what’s happening or what comes next.

That also includes being clear about the practical side of things, like travel or mileage if your ceremony is outside of Christchurch. I’ll always be upfront about that so there are no surprises later on.
I also work closely with couples on their ceremony script and we’ll keep refining it together until it feels exactly right. Nothing is final until you’re happy with it!

I feel it’s less about comparing pricing and more about understanding how supported you’ll feel throughout the process.

Final Thoughts

Choosing a celebrant isn’t just about ticking a box. It’s about finding someone you feel comfortable with, because you’ll be standing in front of them on one of the biggest days of your life.

If it feels easy to talk to them, if you like how they approach ceremonies, and if you can picture them standing with you on the day, you’re probably on the right track.

And if you’re not sure, I’m always happy to meet for a coffee (or a wine) and have a chat to see if we’re a good fit.

Image: Kiwi Eyes Photography
https://www.kiwieyes.co.nz/
Location: Private Residence, North Canterbury